


Last Until Eternity

by Evilmini86



Category: Utena
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2004-01-27
Updated: 2004-03-27
Packaged: 2013-06-28 09:59:28
Rating: T
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,088
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1706571/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/318009/Evilmini86
Summary: Saionji and Touga were the best of friends until everything changed that day with the girl in the coffin. Can friendship last until eternity, or will it die in its shell. TxS





	1. The Deflowering of Friendship

Chapter One: The Deflowering of Friendship  
  
"The clock goes tick..."  
  
*********************************************************  
  
The clock struck five as I lain sprawled about upon the green settee. Time seemed to waste away as I laid on top of his lustful form. I hated it. He always did this, kept me here with him behind closed doors. Kissed me, used me...my friend...  
  
I used to protest greatly, but nowadays I let it happen. And now I was lying across him as he played with my hair. What was wrong with me? I was the captain of the kendo team! The vice president of the ... but he was the president. Strings of red loomed down from his brow and a few slid into my face.  
  
"Aren't you going to bite it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"My hair, you always chew on hair," he grinned.  
  
I shrugged and turned my face. I never understood him. He had everyone. Every girl he could ever dream of. But why did he want to lie here with me? His hand slid across my cheek and parted the seams of my blazer, button by button.  
  
"No, Touga. Stop it!" I jerked away.  
  
All he could do was grin and slide his hand up to my chin, pulling me upwards for a kiss. I let him do what he wished, but the kiss burned inside me and I turned away again, flopping back onto his chest.  
  
"Why do you do this Touga?"  
  
"Why do you think?" he replied keenly.  
  
"I wouldn't have asked if I already knew! Forget it."  
  
His hands continued to slide long my body: my back, my hair, my face...it all seemed to be his at the moment. I felt more like a bride then a duelist. Every girl, any girl...but why? I could remember the first time he became so affectionate with me. It was about the time when young boys become young men, when the urge is strong. He became quite popular, before I ever did and got the girls right away. But the there was something more I suppose...some lust that could not be fulfilled with all of those meaningless girls. Something in me...  
  
"Touga...how do you feel?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know. You always do this and, well, I just wondered how you felt..." everything paused, "what is it?"  
  
"Nothing. I'm not thinking anything."  
  
"What is it? You know I don't like not knowing things! Tell me."  
  
"It's nothing. What were you saying?"  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About me?"  
  
"You," he grinned, "how do you think I feel about you?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
"We're friends my dear Saionji."  
  
"Friends don't lay like this together."  
  
"Sometimes friends can be lovers...," he whispered into my ear.  
  
"Stop it," I pulled back, " just answer me."  
  
"I like you Saionji," he grinned even deeper, "it's true though..."  
  
His arms slid around me and pulled him towards him closely. His lips dove towards my own and locked them in a deep kiss. Something inside of me forced my arms around him as well, but I promptly pushed him off and gasped for air.  
  
"No Touga! I hate you!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I can't tell you...I don't trust you."  
  
I knew inside what the problem was. I knew deep inside that I was in love with my best friend. I also knew that: 1) it would destroy what little friendship we had, 2) he didn't feel the same, and 3) I could never trust Touga with my deepest emotions. He continued to seduce me with his wandering hands.  
  
"Touga, don't do this!"  
  
I knew I wanted it, but not this way. Not as his toy. Not as his puppet. But as his love. But these things did not exist. There is no such thing as friendship, nor is there true love. His hand caressed the skin of my face and ran through the green locks upon my scalp. He loved hair, that's all he ever did was run his fingers through peoples' hair, and I was no exception. I wasn't anything special to him...just a toy. But somewhere, though I do regret the feeling, I loved him. Every flaw in his body...some how I loved it. But I could never tell him...never.  
  
"How do you feel," I found myself whisper to him.  
  
"I care for you."  
  
It hurt; the pang of an unrequited passion beat in my heart. I pushed off of him and laid on the other end of the settee upon my stomach. I felt him coming towards me as he knelt down upon my back. His nostrils crept along my neck as his hands undid the buckle of my belt and pulled my pants down just below my hips. I froze and screamed out into the empty estate, the Kiryuu residence. His arms embraced my waste and I felt his self behind me.  
  
"NO! TOUGA! STOP! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! TOUGA NO! TOUGAAAA!" I screamed unanswered as he plunged forward. The pain was both embarrassing and immense. I tried to pull away and in my struggling I managed to fall from the settee and onto the floor. I laid there, my head upon my own shoes near the front hallway.  
  
"Saionji...are you okay?" he whispered sweetly.  
  
I was speechless. How could I hope to get a word out after that? Though it had only lasted a few brief moments, the trauma still loomed in my brain. I pulled my underwear and pants back up. Finally, I was able to speak again.  
  
"I hate you! How could you do that? Why do you do this stuff to me? Why Touga?" I cried.  
  
"I care for you...and it is true though...friends can be lovers," he grinned his sick grin.  
  
I turned my face back to the floor and cried. Though it really is nothing like me to do so, I didn't really know who I was anymore. Touga slid over my weary figure and kissed my face and neck. His tongue soon emerged and licked up to my ear, where he nibbled a bit. I hated myself for liking it, for wanting it...  
  
"Stop it! I hate you!" I yelled!  
  
He continued and soon whispered into my ear, "Let me." His voice became intoxicating, though I was unclear about what he meant until I felt a small tug at my belt. But before I could get away, one arm had already gripped around my waste. I pulled and struggled to get away, but my friend had beaten me, and taken me once more. Once the pace seemed to come to a stand still, I pulled myself forward. However, he yanked me back into another round of torture...of rape.  
  
Afterwards, he got up and fixed his clothes before sitting back upon the settee with no acknowledgement of what had just occurred. I sat up and stared at the white carpet. My shadow staining its ivory color. But his shadow lurched far past mine from atop the green settee. He ran his fingers through his hair as he left me sitting upon the floor in a bed of tears.  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Then why don't you leave?"  
  
"Because...that is why I hate myself far more, for staying here with you all of these days. And in all of this I mean nothing to you."  
  
"Of course you do. You are my dearest frien..."  
  
"Shut up Touga! Tell me. What ever happened to my Exchange Dairy? The one I gave you to hold safe upon my return."  
  
"I told you, it was stolen."  
  
"By who Touga?"  
  
"I don't know who stole it," he laid back comfortably.  
  
"You're lying to me. I can tell. Just tell me the truth."  
  
"I'm not lying to you."  
  
"Yes you are! Tell me what happened to the diary!"  
  
"I told you it was..."  
  
"You threw it away didn't you?"  
  
"No, Saionji, I wouldn't do that. Listen, it was stolen from me and burned."  
  
"What? But how would you know that?!"  
  
"Someone told me."  
  
"That doesn't make any sense Touga! Your stories got too many wholes! I can't trust you at all!"  
  
"Come now, my friend," just then the phone rang and he sprang up to answer the call. I stood and walked to a tall window that reached the floor. The drapes were green, the same as that dreaded settee and the curtains were a white flushed scrim. I felt a presence behind me as Touga pulled me from the curtain, out of sight from any passersby.  
  
"Won't you sit with me? Friends do sit together, don't they?"  
  
"Fine," I reluctantly followed.  
  
He walked me into another room, this one much more lavish in décor then the former. But what did I care? None of it appealed to me. Nothing was of the slightest interest to me. The sofa was large with curled armrests, hand carved legs and layers of pillows with matching tassels. He sat down as I stood there next to the couch. His jacket was opened and his hair a mess from the crown of his brow. A grin reached his pinkish lips as he stared deeply with those blue eyes.  
  
"How do you feel about Nanami?" I asked though I am not sure why.  
  
"How do you think I-"  
  
"I don't know how you feel! That's why I asked you dammit! Now tell me!"  
  
"Just as any brother would feel towards his little sister."  
  
"Just as any brother, or you?" I replied sharply.  
  
"Well, there you go. You must know how I feel if you challenge me that way."  
  
"Shut up Touga!" I snarled, "what about...what about Utena?"  
  
"Ah, Utena, she is a fine woman, isn't she?"  
  
"Just answer me."  
  
He leaned back on the couch and let out a small moan at the thought of Utena.  
  
"Well...answer!"  
  
"What do you mean 'answer'? What do you think?"  
  
"Do you...do you love her?"  
  
"What do you think?" he grinned, sighing and moaning once more.  
  
I turned away from him, clutching my fists tightly together. I knew it; however, there was a sense of surprise eating away at my soul. Both Anthy and he had fallen into the grasp of the "girl-prince". What was I to do? I felt a hand upon my own as he pulled me to sit onto the couch.  
  
"What's wrong Saionji? You can tell me."  
  
"No I can't! You'd use it against me!"  
  
"I'd never do that. I'm your friend."  
  
"True friendship doesn't exist. And I don't trust you."  
  
"Come now, Saionji. Tell me what's the matter?"  
  
Even now I do not know what made me slip, but the feeling of his hand caressing my face pulled me apart, unhinged me at the seems.  
  
"Touga, don't do this," I whispered as he smoothed his fingers along my cheek and as his words whispered out between his lips and into my ears.  
  
"You can trust me. Just tell me what's wrong."  
  
"I...I...I love you Touga," I cried out.  
  
Never had I felt so vulnerable, foolish, and relieved at the same instant. I turned away and buried my face in my hands. All I could hear were taunting chuckles surfacing from my friend's lips.  
  
"What? Why are you laughing?"  
  
"That's it? That's you big secret? Heh, well, how are we supposed to be friends if you're in love with me?"  
  
"But, but Touga..."  
  
"Oh, my poor Saionji..." he teased.  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"No, I thought you said you loved me?" again he began to laugh.  
  
Though I did not cry, I felt it deep inside, but I sat up stoically trying my best not to crack. Just then, he leant over to me and kissed my lips aggressively. His fingers moving through my hair and tongue snaking into my mouth. I pushed him back, gasping for air and pleaded.  
  
"But, Touga! Don't do this! You don't love me!"  
  
"But I do, my Saionji. I'm your prince," he said just before diving in for another kiss and sliding his hand down my chest.  
  
I pushed him back a second time, "Then tell me! Tell me what happened to my exchange diary!"  
  
He froze and sat back, speechless.  
  
"I told you."  
  
"NO! Tell me the truth!"  
  
"I got rid of it. I burned it."  
  
"But...but why?"  
  
"Because...  
  
*****************************************************  
  
"...and the clock goes tock." 


	2. The Color of Jealousy

Chapter Two: The Color of Jealousy  
  
"Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of posies........."  
  
**********************************************************  
  
"Because you fool, I was jealous!"  
  
"Jealous?"  
  
"Yes! Of you and...and Anthy!"  
  
"Touga? Are you serious?"  
  
"Of course I am."  
  
"You aren't lying?"  
  
"No, my dear Saionji. I love you," his words were quick and eased, almost without thought. He lurched forward and grabbed me connecting his lips to my own, but something was wrong. I could feel something was wrong!  
  
"Touga," I gasped, pushing him away, "are you sure? How do I know you aren't lying?"  
  
"Trust me. I love you."  
  
"But...but...I can't trust you," I squirmed from his grasp, "if you loved me then why...why are you doing this? Love isn't only about sex Touga!"  
  
"It's the only way I know how to express myself. So please...let me," he whispered, again kissing along my weary neck.  
  
I pushed away at his advances and was finally able to release myself. I dashed to the other side of the room lined with windows. It was fine and elegant, curtains dipped in gold and tassels painted in crimson. Though the previous rain had dulled the sky, each window seemed to capture its own specific beauty.  
  
"It's funny really," I snickered, "how everything turns out. All so very ironic."  
  
"It's not literature, and this isn't a classroom. I don't feel like studying Saionji," he smiled at his place upon the couch.  
  
"No, no, no. You misconstrue. If a young lady were to run away from you, well of course you would chase her. But here I go, your best friend nearly in tears, and the noble Touga Kiryuu, President of the Student Council and playboy extraordinaire, won't even stand up."  
  
He lingered his way over and stood by me as I looked out the window of his estate.  
  
"Well, I'm here now. So now what?" he smiled.  
  
"No, Touga...not that. I just don't know if I can trust you yet. Tell me: Why do you make love to all of those random women. Use them, leave them, and toss them to the side."  
  
"To fulfill that simple need that every man has built inside of them. That drive is natural. Some ignore it. Some get rid of it by their own personal needs. But me, I get rid of it another way."  
  
"But don't you ever feel remorse?"  
  
"Do you ever feel remorse for putting your wrist through such a repetitive and stressful movement?"  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Let us not be secretive on such matters my dear Saionji. The two of us are young men, seniors, on the verge of the most thrilling adventure...life! I would assume that both you and I have, at the very least, once relieved ourselves...alone. Wouldn't you agree?"  
  
"You assume that I am going to answer you on that matter?"  
  
"Yes, my Saionji, I do," he whispered into my ear, sliding and arm around my waist, "because I remember that even though you act strong-willed, you've already let your secret go. You love me."  
  
"You said it too!" I wined.  
  
"Ah, but you think that I am lying."  
  
"So after all of those women, everyday...why Touga? Why did you do what you did?" I quickly changed the subject.  
  
"Why? What a good question. The women filled that void, gave me a release. None of them really mattered. None of them matter now. Just a different substitute for a hand or some cold water. And even though the regular lust was fulfilled, there was still something more that I couldn't grasp. Our bickering, our fights in the kendo room, our fights in the dueling arena...our everything was and is filled with a tension I have never been able to describe. But in everything we think or do together in this friendship, there is always this strong feeling of competition. When we spare, it's all hateful competition, most of the time I win and every once in a while you win."  
  
"More than that!"  
  
"See, competition," he chuckled as he stepped back to the lavish sofa and sat down.  
  
"I remember when all of the dueling started," I whispered as I held up my ring, "I remember you winning the Bride right away and duel after duel, I tried to win her. But just as in kendo class...you won. You always won. Until that fateful day when I won the Rose Bride from you! You were gone from the campus for the next few days and I am the only one who knows why. Too proud and ashamed, my dear Touga?"  
  
"Fuck you."  
  
"See, competition. And I also remember the day I got my ring. We were sparing and I finally beat you three days in a row, but the next day you returned with a ring, this Rose Signet ring. And you beat me again and again and again. But in a dream, a prince came to me and told me that the key to beating you was in a ring. And when I woke up, there it was...on my finger."  
  
"Yes, I do remember that. I remember everything. I also remember sliding that ring upon your finger."  
  
"What?!" I yelled as I dashed to the sofa and sat down, eyes wide.  
  
"The prince, Akio or Dios—which ever you prefer—ordered me to. So at night I came to your room and slid the ring onto your finger. Did you think it was magic?"  
  
"At the time...I sort of did."  
  
"Well then, now you know the truth," Touga grinned and sat back stretching his arm over his head then behind his neck, "But I want to know some truth too. Why do you love the Rose Bride? You speak of her constantly and when you don't have her you go crazy. Is that the sign of a man who is in love...with someone else?"  
  
"It was the competition. She was just something I needed. Something to remind me that I had beaten you; something that I had that you didn't; something special.... And at first, I thought she was something eternal. But, in order to fill a void in myself, I took her and afterwards I felt pathetic and empty. She just allowed it, even seemingly talked me into doing so. Almost as though she likes for those things to be done to her by any random Victor. It was sickening, both her and myself. I hated myself for using her like that, but I hated her for coaxing me on and acting the way she did. But something inside wanted to keep her close, to save her from herself. If she was only with me and I knew how she was then she was safe. I stopped casually making love to the Bride a long while ago. So she was safe."  
  
"And the abuse?"  
  
"Only because that behavior angered me. I was trying to save her, and still she would stray. I know inside that she always really hated me; she just couldn't express her feelings. And if you know women as well as one may think, then you'd know that no woman can be devoid of complete and total feeling."  
  
"Yes. I do see that. But still, you love her."  
  
"Touga, though it maybe true..."  
  
"Shut up! Get away! Leave here now Saionji!" he yelled.  
  
"Touga, it's different. I protect her, more so as a shameful big brother. Believe me! I love you."  
  
He chuckled, completely changing his mood. The former was either an act...or an act of jealousy. But I could not tell at all....  
  
"I also remember the day everything changed."  
  
"What day?" he yawned.  
  
"The day we were sparring, when it used to be fun. When you hurt my hand and didn't laugh at me like you do now, but nurtured me and dressed the wound. When we really were the best of friends. When everything was pure and happy. When I loved you undaunted and you loved me the same. When we would sneak a kiss here and there in the innocence of pre-adolescence. When I trusted you with all my heart. When I saw the truth of eternity in your eyes. When I found myself lost in the long strands of red hair. When our relationship was that of something to be proud of and open. When you too trusted in me to tell me that you and Nanami were "adopted" by Kiryuu-san and what happened to you after your hair had grown out."  
  
He shuddered.  
  
"Touga! Don't you remember when everything was perfect?! Don't you?! DON'T YOU?!" I cried to him, clinging to his chest.  
  
"Yes..." he only whispered.  
  
"And don't you remember the day that all ended, the day you dragged me into that stupid church! The day you became lost and disillusioned."  
  
"That was the day I grew up Saionji. It just took you a lot longer."  
  
"NO! That was the day you saw the girl in the coffin. That was the day you coaxed her out. And then we finally left, because you finally listened to my screams! You never ignored my cries like you did that day."  
  
"She intrigued me."  
  
"And when we were leaving, you stopped again and stared into that church wide-eyed! What did you do?! Show her something eternal?"  
  
"No. I didn't show her anything. I only saw a prince that, with hardly any effort, changed her life someway, showed her something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I could not see it."  
  
"Well then, I suppose he did more than that."  
  
"You are right my dear Saionji. He also changed me. From that moment on I have wanted to become a prince. I suppose that's another reason for all of those women. Princes make princesses, I suppose that is what I pretend to do."  
  
"And that is where you became disillusioned."  
  
"Why what do you mean?"  
  
"You saw her, saw him, and immediately wanted nothing but to become a prince. But couldn't you tell? You already were!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You've been trying since that day to be a hansom prince saving—and having—women. But couldn't you tell that even before that day Touga..." I began to cry, "you were saving me? You were always a prince! My prince!"  
  
He was silenced and stiff. Only sitting back and breathing. I sat up and looked into his eyes just as I did when we were young. Tears were falling down his cheeks as he stared out into space. And then without warning, he wrapped his arms around my neck and cried. I held him close to me; a few whimpers seeped out through the cloth of my uniform jacket. His face was buried in the crook of my neck as I smoothed my fingers through his hair and rocked him back and forth. And then a whisper...  
  
"Was I really your prince?"  
  
"Yes Touga. And my only wish was that I could find eternity, to make the time when you were a prince eternal."  
  
"Am I no longer a prince?"  
  
"All of your princely qualities changed."  
  
He continued to cry. Everything he had strived for was a mere nothing now.  
  
"He tricked me! All of this a trick! Lies! I sold so much of my life for this! I even gave myself!"  
  
"Touga? Did he?"  
  
"Yes..." he cried. I only held him tighter. "Saionji! It's not far! I only wanted to be a prince. But I ruined it instead. I only thought you were weak and in the way of my goal...that's why I acted as I did. That's why I changed. I thought I grew up and you didn't."  
  
"Tell me Touga: Did you love me then, when we were children? You were never able to tell me back then."  
  
"Yes, I did Kyouichi," he smiled a bit in the fabric of my jacket, calling me my first name for the first time sense that day with the girl in the coffin.  
  
"Now tell me: Do you love me now?"  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"Yes or no please."  
  
"Yes, I do Kyouichi."  
  
I raised his face with my hand and kissed away the tears still welling up in his beautiful eyes and wiped his cheeks dry. And without notice, I pulled his chin up and kissed his sweet lips. Now it was innocent again. Love...pure and undaunted.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
".........ashes, ashes, we all fall down." 


	3. The Transformation of Friendship

Chapter Three: The Transformation of Friendship  
  
"I play; you obey..."  
  
**********************************************************  
  
(A/N: This is a little bit of a prologue to the story...enjoy)  
  
"Today in class we are going to learn about abuse. There are three types: physical, mental, and sexual. Now can anyone tell me what physical abuse is?" the teacher, Takanori-sensei, started the day's lesson in Health. The class was just before lunch, so most off the students were fidgety and restless. Saionji sat at the side of the room, staring longingly out of the window. Too much had happened to him in the past few days. He didn't feel like listening to a word of what the teacher had to say. All Saionji could do was try to block out what had happened to him the previous night.  
  
"Physical abuse is when you get hit and stuff," answered one student.  
  
"That's right. Does anyone know what mental abuse is?"  
  
He continued to stare out the window as Health class went on without him. His eyes became fixed on the crowd of students running about the track that ran along the side of the building where his class was held.  
  
"Isn't it when you get put down a lot until you start to believe it?" answered yet another student.  
  
"Correct. Now, does anyone know what sexual abuse is?"  
  
Amongst the crowd of PE students running along the track, one popped out to him. Long red hair and a devilish smile sent terror into Saionji's heart. The figure stopped and stared into the window, seemingly back at Saionji. He gasped out loud making the class turn to him.  
  
"How about you Saionji? Do you have an answer?"  
  
"I don't know. What was the question?" he smarted back to the teacher, folding his arms while some of his classmates giggled.  
  
"What is sexual abuse?"  
  
"Abuse or harassment?"  
  
"Abuse, Saionji."  
  
"Well isn't it obvious. It's when..." he paused, remembering what had happened the night before, "it's when someone uses sex as a tool to violently attack you."  
  
"Not always, but yes, that is correct. Now I'm going to spend a little more time on this one because many of you teenagers maybe experiencing sexual abuse and don't realize it. Besides the type that occurs at the home, usually to younger children, there is a type of sexual abuse that occurs during this period of life. Maybe some of you have boyfriends or maybe even girlfriends that pressure you into sex. Maybe you don't realize that it is a problem, the person 'loves' you, so everything is going to be okay. Well, kids, it's not. If any of you are in any type of an abusive relationship: physical, mental, or sexual, please talk to your parents, your counselor, or even me."  
  
"Sure," Saionji turned back to the window and saw nothing but the dusty track. He wanted nothing more but to get home and as far away from the school as possible. Once the bell rang he let out a long sigh, but before he could get up to leave Takayori-sensei was standing above his desk.  
  
"Saionji, I'm a little worried. You never seem so...so...in total disregard for class."  
  
"Can't I just be having one of the those days. I'm just having a bad day okay."  
  
"Is anything stressing you out?"  
  
"No, I am fine. Listen, I have a Kendo meeting to get to. Do you mind?"  
  
"Sorry. You've just been a really good student in the past. You were at the top of the class in chemistry last year."  
  
"Do I have to do well in all of your classes?"  
  
"See, there you go, Saionji. Total disregard!"  
  
"Can we talk later?"  
  
"Fine. Have a good...rest of the day Saionji."  
  
"Yeah, you too."  
  
Saionji walked down the halls and into the kendo room. He didn't know why he wanted to go there, even though that's where everything had happened yesterday. But inside he stepped and let the tears flow down his face. He leaned up against the door and sobbed letting the memories fall through his fingers. He felt weak. Saionji was no longer the strong captain of the Kendo team, but a wounded man used by his only friend to their heart's content.  
  
"Touga..." he let out a whisper, "I hate you...."  
  
"But why?" a voice drifted in from the lockers. Saionji's eyes widened as his attention was turned forward. He knew that voice anywhere. It was always the same. From ten years ago until now, that voice remained strong, deep, and seductive. The figure in which the voice had belonged to stepped from the locker room and into the main room where Saionji stood cowering and crying.  
  
"Touga! What are you doing here?! I thought you were in PE! Doesn't it take you guys longer to..."  
  
"So you memorized my classes? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were stalking me," he grinned as he edged toward Saionji, blazer open and eyes targeted.  
  
"No! I only saw you running on the track! It's outside my class," he hurriedly recovered and wiped the tears from his eyes.  
  
"Oh my dear Saionji, why are you crying? Would you like a firm shoulder to rest your weary head?"  
  
"No! Get away from me Touga! I am not just going to play around and pretend yesterday didn't happen! Tell me! Why did you...how could you do that to me?!"  
  
"You say it as if you didn't like it."  
  
"I didn't! Friends don't do that Touga."  
  
"But we are more than friends...we are...we are..."  
  
"We are what Touga? Just what the hell are we?"  
  
Touga smirked and pushed Saionji up against the door. His hands slid down Saionji's arms until they reached his wrists. With undeniable speed Touga pinned Saionji's arms above his head.  
  
"Touga! Don't do this please! Please! We are friends! Aren't we supposed to care for each other?" Saionji cried, trying anything to be relieved from Touga's grasp.  
  
"You care for me about as much as my 'father' cared for me! Don't even dare to lecture me about caring Saionji! Look what you did to the Rose Bride!"  
  
"Shut up Touga! I'll get her back! That's none of your concern!"  
  
And with that, Touga pressed forward, kissing Saionji forcefully upon his lips. Saionji tried desperately to pull from the kiss, but failed. Touga was stronger than him. Touga was...Touga was...crying? Saionji finally pulled away; Touga released him and leaned limp on the wall.  
  
"Touga? Tell me, what's wrong?" Saionji ironically turned to his 'friend.'  
  
"You wouldn't understand."  
  
"Is it about the cabbage patch?"  
  
Touga stood straight and returned to his simple seductive smile, "Nothing of the kind. Just a little emotional I guess."  
  
"Touga...," Saionji found himself embracing his friend, holding him tightly, "don't cry about it. It's over. Remember when you told me the first time. You slept over at my house and we played games the whole day. Everything was better."  
  
"Kyouichi..." Touga smiled, sharing the embrace. It was beautiful again. The eternity they had shared seemed to have returned, but neither one of them was the same as they were five years ago. Touga's smile turned quickly into a troublesome grin and Saionji's into a deep scowl of anger. "Well then, if you seem to love me so much..."  
  
"Touga!"  
  
"Then why not," Touga spun his friend's shoulders about until Saionji's back faced him, "you and I..."  
  
"Touga don't! Get away from me!" Saionji pulled away and grabbed a practice sword from the rack swinging it fiercely towards Touga's brow. The hit connected and Touga gasped, he grapped a sword as well and held it towards Saionji.  
  
"That was uncalled for."  
  
"So was last night."  
  
"Never mind that."  
  
"Never mind the fact that you raped me in this very room after practice?"  
  
Touga lunged forward striking, hitting Saionji's sword with a great clash.  
  
"So you are the innocent victim and I am the villain, eh, Saionji? Aren't you the one who invited me to spar in the middle of the night?"  
  
The clash separated and the two stood back from each other. Saionji poised the sword above his head and Touga held his in front of his waist.  
  
"I only invited you to spar late at night because I couldn't sleep. Regardless...you never actually sleep anyway, so I figured it wouldn't be a problem."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Aren't you always up? Either with a girl, or the chairman, or maybe..."  
  
"Maybe what?"  
  
"I wonder? How is your father doing these days?"  
  
Touga charged, tackling Saionji to the ground and tossing his sword to the side. He took Saionji's lapel into his hand and held one fist above his head.  
  
"Don't you ever mention him again! Do you hear me?! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!!"  
  
"Touga...I...I'm sorry. That was low of me," Saionji admitted.  
  
Touga rolled off of Saionji and laid back upon the wood floor. There was a still silence through the room. The light from outside leaked in through the cracks in the blinds and lit Touga's blue eyes. Saionji gazed across the body of his friend...unsure of what he could possibly be thinking, but without hesitation he leaned over Touga's form close to the other's lips.  
  
"Touga...I'm so sorry...and if what happened last night was because of that...because of everything...I don't mind...I deserved it..." Saionji whispered just before kissing him lightly but fully. He sustained the kiss for what seemed an eternity, until Touga's hand came upon the back of his head, taking over and deepening the kiss. This was brief and Saionji pulled back a bit and smiled. Touga grinned as usual.  
  
"It reminds me of our first kiss. Do you remember it Kyouichi?"  
  
"Yes. We were here; it was five years ago. We were sparing and you hit my arm. You bandaged it up like always and kissed it. Then you kissed my upper arm, then my shoulder, my neck and then my lips. And that was the first time we kissed."  
  
"Was it your first?"  
  
"Yes it was. Yours?"  
  
"Well...no..."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"I don't want to think about it."  
  
"Oh, I understand."  
  
"Do you regret it, Saionji?"  
  
"Never."  
  
"Good. I suppose you don't regret last night then?"  
  
"Touga! You know that was different."  
  
"Not much different," he grinned as he pounced upon Saionji, unbuttoning the clasps of his pants.  
  
"Touga! STOP THIS!"  
  
"Heh...for now...there is only ten minutes left of lunch. I might as well eat a little something, food that is. Surely, one of my many admirers is searching for me somewhere with a bento box," he said as he stood from the scene and opened the door. He turned, "oh, and Saionji...fix yourself up please...highly inappropriate at school," he smiled, chuckled, and walked away leaving Saionji alone upon the wooden kendo floor.  
  
After school, Saionji went back to Takanori-sensei's class. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew it was something he really needed to do.  
  
"Oh, hey, Saionji. Everything okay?"  
  
"Well, yes and no. I need to talk with you about something."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well, at lunch...at lunch I was talking with a friend of mine. Well, he was telling me that (and this is where it gets a bit weird sensei)...this guy we both know, his old best friend has been treating him...well, different."  
  
"Hmmm...so this guy you know, his old best friend..."  
  
"Yeah, they aren't very close anymore. I think something happened, but I'm not sure what."  
  
"Okay, I get it. Continue."  
  
"So, my friend didn't want to tell any one, but (and that's why I can't tell you his name) his old friend...raped him. He said that it seemed like he did it for sport. So basically, I need you do give me some advice for my friend. That way I can help him out, you know?" "Of course. Well, I think that he should tell someone himself. But if not, then standing up to the other guy when he is not in a spot where that could happen again would be a good idea, then maybe things could be resolved."  
  
"One more thing."  
  
"Yes, Saionji?"  
  
"Well, I know a secret about the guy's old friend. It may or may not be important as to why he did what he did."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"Well, when that guy was little, I think around eight or ten or something...well, he was molested by his foster father in the cabbage patch outside his house."  
  
"Oh my God! I'd have to say that certainly has something to do with it. Though I am not exactly sure. My guess would be that the pain and aggression toward that incident and his father was somehow transferred to your friend, so he attempted the same painful act on him."  
  
"That makes sense. Well thank you Takanori-sensei," he spoke just before he left. And with that, Saionji knew...why Touga had raped him the night before.  
  
Things ran through his head at vicious speeds. Pictures of the memory haunted him. He laid back in his bed forgetting about any and all homework and even Kendo practice. He couldn't function anymore. So long ago, Touga and his friendship had blossomed into something so beautiful and seemingly eternal. Then in one night, everything changed again and for the worse. He couldn't really explain the magnitude of what had transformed their friendship into a constant battle for supremacy, but it had happened...long ago. And now, just in one day, their friendship had become something even uglier. The battle had gone to far. Touga was the president; Saionji was the vise-president. Touga beat Saionji 200 times at kendo; Saionji beat Touga 175 times at kendo. Touga was a playboy whom everyone loved; Saionji was popular whom most everyone loved...for a while. Touga was everything; Saionji was something. Touga was Touga; Saionji was Touga's friend. Touga had everything just above Saionji. Save for the Rose Bride...until a few weeks ago. Then Saionji's only treasure above Touga was gone...gone. So the battlefield was reopened...and this was the result. A battle to conquer the other by the only means they had never engaged in with each other. He supposed it was bound to happen in some ways. They had at one point cared for each other in such a way. Touga had taken Saionji; Saionji had never taken Touga. And so with a grin, Saionji turned over in his greenish black sheets and snickered a bit. This new plan... this new idea of his would only help to continue the vicious cycle of their relationship.  
  
Touga sat back in the study. His work was finished and he decided to sit back and relax in the large expanse of the study. He was never a scholar and really didn't have to do much to get A's, they were practically given to him. He unbuttoned the blazer and stretched.  
  
"Ssssaionji..." he whispered as he stretched out on the lavish chair. His eyes sprung open, unaware of why he had whispered his best friend's name.  
  
"I really need to go to bed earlier. I'm starting to hallucinate."  
  
Just then the telephone rang. He leaned over to the desk and answered it.  
  
"Hello, this is the Kiryuu Residence, may I ask who is speaking?"  
  
"Yes. It's me. Can't you recall the voice of your father...Mr. Kiryuu?"  
  
"Mr. Kiryuu? Father?!" he cleared his throat, in total shock, "what do you want?"  
  
"Just to call and see how you and your sister were. It's been years now since you and Nanami joined the ranks of Ohtori."  
  
"Yes, you and mother lived here with us in this estate back then. Not that I protest at all, but why did you two move away and leave us the estate?"  
  
"These are matters not for your ears my beautiful son. Do tell me...your hair, you have not cut it?"  
  
"Why should it matter? Why don't you go ahead and ask me what I'm wearing?!" he screamed into the receiver and hung it up with a clash.  
  
He received one of those calls about once or twice every year. Five years ago, his mother forced his father to move away from the estate with her. He assumed she had found out about everything, but didn't want to ring suspicion and ruin her family's rank in society. They moved to a fashionable city on the other side of Japan, but he didn't care. Not in the least.  
  
He picked up the phone once again and dialed, "Saionji...if only we could be friends like we used to...I wish I could talk with..."  
  
Saionji picked up the phone, "Hello? Who is this?"  
  
Touga froze and hung up. They weren't friends like that anymore...and he figured they never would be. He stretched and tried to relax again as the phone began to ring once more.  
  
"Hello, this is the Kiryuu Residence, may I ask who is call—"  
  
"Touga?!" Saionji's voice rang out.  
  
"Um...yes? Why are you calling me at this hour? Would you like me to come over?" he snickered.  
  
"No! I just received a call a few seconds ago. No one answered even after I screamed 'hello' into the phone. So guess what I did Touga? I *69'ed them. And would you believe who answered the phone?"  
  
"Funny Saionji. I get it. But I only dialed the wrong number."  
  
"Oh, really. Then why wasn't your phone busy then? It wouldn't make sense if you called a wrong number then gave up. You must have had someone you had to call?"  
  
"Leave it alone Saionji."  
  
"I don't think I will. I think you called me. Just admit it."  
  
"It was the wrong number Saionji. Get over it," he said forcefully as he hung up on Saionji. Saionji could do nothing but laugh. He had won that one, and Touga had lost miserably. However Saionji did continue to wonder why Touga would have called him.  
  
They both fell asleep...they both thought of the other...  
  
**********************************************************  
  
"...Midnight Celebration." –Hyde 


End file.
